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if you want to insult me, dare to in my face*

Monday, October 16, 2006
4:24 PM

dunno if mungyu noticed this morning when she got on the bus, that i had been crying. no, i did not have a mood swing or something. it was my mum scolding me again, early in the morning, 5 o'clock. a perfect way to start the perfect day huh? very nice. i can think of a gazillion better ways to start off a day. 3 pieces of potato chips? a brownie? a chunk of chocolate? a cup of milk? a totally absorbing book? i can name 10 in my dreams. you will just have to wake me up.

HEADLINE NEWS : A GIRL FROM A CHINESE SPEAKING FAMILY WITH A TAIWANESE MOM FAILED HER CHINESE COMPOSITIONSSS. DOCTORS CURRENTLY INVESTIGATING THE REASON.

yes. that will definitely make headline news, or maybe tianqi's news of A CHINA GUY FAILING CHINESE? either one. equally interesting, and hilarious.
THAT IS SO UNFAIR!
WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST MARK STRICTLY FOR ALL COMPOSITIONS SO THAT WE KNOW OUR STANDARDS, NOT SUDDENLY MARKING SO STRICTLY, AND NOW CAUSING CONFUSION???!!! HOW CAN YOU DO THAT? DO YOU HAVE NO CONFIDENCE IN YOUR STUDENTS AT ALL? if you had failed me during the normal practices and perhaps told me the reasons, i could have passed!

i hate failing, and i hate getting 50+. i hate admitting failures. i hate blaming people for my failures. i hate exams. and i am beginning to hate many other things. i hate being the one to have my mum's anger thrown onto. i hate losing things. i hate my brain, and my forgetful ways. i want to change. i want to remember everything, perhaps become more organised. i have gone through so many lessons, made so much mistakes. i should change, for myself. i want to venture to somewhere new, meet new people, run away from this pathetic past, present. i hate this place.

a nightmare which turned out to reality. a mistake from many other mistakes. my phone. my old phone. that spoit due to my forgetfulness. my bus card, gone for dunno what reason. my awfulness, imperfection are getting back at me, aren't they? life sucks the ways it is. i think i have done enough damage in this world. my life needs to come to an end. but i am going to change all this. i want my forgetfulness to leave me, i want to go to new place, start life all over again. then perhaps, perhaps i can live till my life goal of 40?!

got to go now. piano lesson is yelping for my attention.


noted*